April 8th, 2013
“Men are alike in their promises. It is only in their deeds that they differ.”
– Moliere
I continue to wrestle with this tension between principles and compromise. I think it is a false dichotomy as compromise itself is a principle, but I think that there is some good conversation to be had around the issue of how/when/why to compromise with someone who has different principles.
I also maintain that we do not differ much in our underlying principles and values. We differ on priorities and how those principles and values show up in action and policy, but I think that we are very much connected at the roots.
I listened to a debate recently about legally protecting GLBT folks from employment discrimination. A minister (who of course went to great length making the point that he loves everyone and does not have any hatred in his heart for the GLBT community) was arguing that it would violate his religious liberty to not be able to fire or not hire someone who was gay or lesbian. He, as the leader of a religious organization was charged with championing very specific values and it would be poor leadership to employ someone with different values. He even went so far as stating that he was not sure he could allow a gay or lesbian person to sing in the choir.
The question that did not get asked, but was bouncing around in my head was “how do you know their values are any different than yours?” Does being gay correlate with specific values? Are there gay values and straight values? And if so, are there male and female principles? Iowa and Nebraska values?
We are different in our identities. We are different in our behaviors. We are different cognitively, and we are different in the values and beliefs that we choose for ourselves.
Lots of overlap here to be sure, but these are four different forms of diversity, each with many layers and much complexity. There is also very little here that we can quantify.
How do you know that someone has different values than you do and how does that show up at work?
Be good to each other.
The only “value” this minister seems to care about is whether someone is accepting of LGBT people. Thus, ipso facto, merely being an openly gay/lesbian/bisexual person (accepting of your own sexual orientation) is enough to prove that your values conflict with his.
I find it instructive, at times, to substitute “Black People” or “Women” in place of “GLBT folks” when I hear narratives like the above.
If this minister says it is intolerant of me not to accept his values, when those values include being *intolerant* of LGBT people, he is trying to have it both ways. All values are not created equal: bigotry is not equal to inclusivity.