September 28th, 2007
Just in case you have not had the time, energy, patience or appropriate sense of humor to watch any of the recent presidential debates, here is a brief summary of what you have missed…both parties:
Moderator: Will you as president, take the steps requred to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon?
Candidate 1: I will do whatever I must to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon
Candidate 2: I will do whatever I must to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, including invading them.
Candidate 3: I will do whatever I must to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, including invading them and nuking them.
Candidate 4: I will do whatever I must to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, including invading them and nuking them…twice.
Candidate 5: I will do whatever I must to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, including invading them and nuking them repeatedly…I do not want to limit my nuking to specific number of times.
Candidate 6: I will do whatever I must to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, including invading them and nuking them repeatedly, eating their dogs, destroying their gardens and scattering their ashes.
Candidate 7: I will do whatever I must to prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon, including invading them, nuking them, eating their pets, destroying their gardens scattering their ashes and deploying any survivors to Iraq.
Candidat 8: I am currently finalizing plans to purchase a nuclear weapon with my own money, which I personally will detonate in Tehran.
Moderator: Congratulations Candidate 8, you clearly have the largest penis.