June 14th, 2010
Perception vs. Reality, Good vs. Evil, Life vs. Indifference, Omaha, BP and Deep Thoughts for a Monday morning
Every time that I hear the phrase; “perception is reality,” it chaps my ass a little. I think that this is becoming a very dangerous idea for us. I understand that perception matters. I understand that in addition to having the capacity to do quality work as a speaker and facilitator, there also needs to be a corresponding public perception in order for me to have opportunities to do that quality work. I get that. And as long as the perception that I am promoting or that you are promoting as an individual or an organization is grounded in reality, I have no problem with focusing on the perception.
But when we stray from that and start focusing on creating an ideal perception rather than an accurate perception, things start to break. It can happen very easily and even under good intentions. That perception that we start promoting might even be rooted in our actual aspirations, so it might not even seem inaccurate or dishonest. But things start to break.
When we prioritize perception over reality we are being very reckless with our future and our potential to evolve and grow. We create an understanding that saying the right thing is more important than doing the right thing and it then gets increasingly difficult to do the right thing. It also is very difficult to change what we do not acknowledge, so if we are ignoring the reality of our behaviors or our organizational culture it is not likely to get any better…until some stuff gets broken and we have to acknowledge what is going on.
A couple of months ago, if asked, I would have guessed that BP was different from other oil companies. I had come to believe that they were serious about getting “beyond petroleum.” I know. Silly me, I should have known better than to be influenced by their ads, but I was. I do not know whether or not BP truly aspired to be what they claimed to be, but they were clearly not acting accordingly. Saying the right things had taken precedence over doing the right things. And things got broken.
I live in Omaha. I have been here since late 1998 and I have seen a lot of positive change. Omaha has a lot of things going for it…it also has some work to do. I think there is a great deal of room for improvement in Omaha when it comes to being inclusive. There is a fair amount of evidence that living in Omaha can be a very different experience for African American citizens than it is for the white majority and there is a fair amount of evidence that it can be a different experience for women than it is for men. But we don’t really talk about this. It is much more comfortable for us to talk about good stuff…positive stuff…happy stuff. We talk about how giving we are and about our strong business community and our wonderful zoo. But we cannot change things we do not acknowledge so some things are probably going to get broken in Omaha.
When you prioritize shiny perception over gritty reality, you put everything in jeopardy…it is the origin of bad things.
Be good to each other.
As usual, Joe’s words cause us to look a little deeper into ourselves. As a person with "positivity" in my top five strengths, sometimes I find it challenging not to see the good in life – not to see that people are trying to make a positive difference in their little corner of the world. But Joe is right – it’s time to acknowledge that we all have some work to do if we want this world to be a better place for our children and grandchildren. Thanks, Joe, for this Monday morning wake-up call.
"Perception is Reality" – I had a boss in a past life use that phrase, when referring to an employee who didn’t like something I was doing as the HR Manager. This boss brought the issue to my attention with "it doesn’t matter what reality is, it only matters what the employee THINKS the reality is". At that moment, I could only see the bad management that would occur from this point forward. The inmates were running the asylum. Instead of finding methods to clearly communicate the goals of the company, we were managing our employees based on their perception of the business – regardless of whether the employee had all the facts of a situation or not. It was up to me to change what I was doing, even though it made a positive impact on the company, because a vocal employee didn’t like it (and frankly didn’t, and couldn’t understand it)
The underlying "bad things" began to manifest when we openly managed to the idea of perception being reality. It allowed for general labor to dictate how managers functioned because they didn’t understand the bigger picture. Oddly enough, that company no longer exists. I moved on to other opportunities a few years prior to the collapse, but was not shocked to hear that things had gone bad.
Viewing life as gritty reality may not be pretty, but it does allow you to fix what is broken.
Great post, Joe! It reminds me that if organizations and leaders are going to rely on their perceptions- particularly about the state of particular segments, the perceived inclusiveness of your own organization, etc.- that we must commit to testing those perceptions. So…if I believe that Omaha is a great place for me and therefore must be a great place for everyone- or even say for everyone like me— how do I know that? Have I made efforts to ask others if they experience the City in the same ways that I do. Do they experience the same benefits/amenities that I do? Do they have the same experience in stores, restaurants, hospitals/clinics, businesses, etc. that I do? If not, why not? What does their experience look/feel like?
We also can’t test our perceptions in isolation…Asking a person of color with the same socioeconomic, education and employment status as you about their experiences and then assuming that if it’s good for them, it must be good for all would be an unfortunate waste of time. Privilege comes in many ways and inclusion is absolutely experienced differently across these four facets of diversity. To fully test our perceptions and assumptions- we must force ourselves out of our boxes/neighborhoods/workplaces/ worship-places, etc. Is it easy? No. Is it necessary? Absolutely.
When I put my old urban planning hat on, I’m reminded of my first observation of Omaha in 2001…the city has been designed such that you truly can live,work, and play within a small radius if you choose to, and unfortunately it seems, many of us choose to. Even residents who live and work in different neighborhoods tend to operate in a 3-5 mile radius, simply driving through other neighborhoods, rarely getting to know the people, places and things that make those neighborhoods unique in positive and not-so-positive ways. I can’t count the number of times that I took driving tours of North, South, and Midtown Omaha with residents who had lived in Omaha for 20, 30, and 50 years, who had no idea about the differences in architecture in different neighborhoods, let alone the differences in people, experiences, and circumstances. At first glance, it may seem like this isn’t really a problem…but at second glance we realize that these subtle perceptions and assumptions silently govern our thoughts, actions and intent on a day-to-day basis, contributing to Omaha’s tale of two cities.
…I could go o and on- but I’ll stop and simply say- We must do better- and I appreciate the reminder to do so, Joe!
I live in Denver and have never visited Omaha. But planners and managers make the same errors everywhere.
Perception IS reality!
Every individual perceives every phenomenon uniquely.
Therefor, there is no possibility of "inclusiveness" or "shared experiences," or having everyone feel they are "treated the same way."
So don’t waste your time. Just do what is right, whether it works or not.