April 12th, 2013
I came across the above quote earlier this week and it reminded me of the topic of my last few blog posts and some of the responses and e-mails that they have generated. Thanks for those, by the way.
It seems to me that there might be something important to be sorted out here.
Mr. Warren is addressing “two huge lies” in this statement and I completely agree with him regarding the second lie “to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do.” I agree that this is nonsense, but I think most people would agree, I do not think this is an idea that our culture has accepted. I think that you would be hard pressed to find someone that actually does agree with this idea.
But my deeper concern is with the first “lie” that Mr. Warren addresses; “if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them.” Here are my concerns…
- The language of “lifestyle” is almost always used when something related to the GLBT community is being discussed or debated, and I am really unclear on what it is that we are actually talking about. Lifestyle seems pretty vague and ambiguous, if there is something that you disagree with, let us all benefit from some clarity. Lifestyle would seem to include a lot of stuff, can you really disagree with someone’s entire lifestyle? Can you even know a person’s lifestyle? And I am pretty sure that there is no one universal lifestyle for any particular social group related to orientation, gender, age, race, faith, so…what is the specific action or behavior that you dislike? Clarity is our very good friend.
- Disliking a lifestyle (or a behavior or an action) is one thing. Every single one of us dislikes some stuff that other folks do. I dislike it when I am speed walking through an airport and the person right in front of me suddenly comes to a dead stop to read something on their phone. I dislike it a lot. But. Disliking something that someone else does is fundamentally different from marshalling people and energy and resources to advocate against the rights and protections of an entire group of people (with a great many different lifestyles). Let us not minimalize the actions that are often behind these words.
- I cannot assume to know what is in another persons heart and/or mind. It is a full time job trying to figure out what is truly in my own heart and mind. I cannot know whether a person feels hate or fear toward another, but I can recognize hateful and fearful actions and have some obligation to name them. “Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public.” -Cornel West
Be good to each other.